Study:Evidence Suggests Readers of Thayer Blog are Certifiably Bonkers: Life’s Work Appears to Have Been in Vain
Story of Royal’s Murder Plot Behind Dead Nurse of Preggers Bride of Son of Still Dead Princess Di Believed by More Readers Than Two Decades of Pol Pot Research
By Nate Thayer
Oh, my. Oh, gosh. It is my civic duty to report with a heavy heart that evidence strongly suggests a good chunk of my readers appear to be certified wack jobs. The evidence appears to be hard to try and deny any longer.
Last night, I wrote a story and posted it on my blog detailing an eye-popping alarming trend on social media that suggests far too many people than makes me comfortable appear to believe that the Queen Mum and her clan murdered the now dead British nurse who fell for the Aussie radio comedy jokesters prank phone call saying they were Queen Elizabeth and asked ”Hello, I’m just looking after my granddaughter, Kate. I wanted to see how her little tummy bug is going?”
I am saddened to report that, to be rather blunt, evidence suggests many of you people are stark raving bonkers and support this theory.
My headline: UK Royal’s Behind Murdered Nurse to Preggers Bride of Still Dead Princess Di’s Still Grieving Son; Well Informed Citizenry Now in Safe Hands as Social Media Replace Mainstream Media as Top News Source appears to have been taken seriously by you people.
I woke up to find that my inbox included posted comments to the story BREAKING NEWS: Dark Hand of British Royal Family behind Secret Murder of Kate’s Morning Sickness Nurse and subtitled “UK Royal’s Behind Murdered Nurse to Preggers Bride of Still Dead Princess Di’s Still Grieving Son; Well Informed Citizenry Now in Safe Hands as Social Media Replace Mainstream Media Agenda”
One thoughtful reader sent me his/her thoughtful plea: “How many years your country’s king and queen will kill people to save their dirty secrets. ” who is William’s baby real mom ?” was it that secret royal family wants to save from England people then they kill the nurse ? You don’t think it is time to kick ass to kings …. England people have a deep sleep . I am yelling ‘wake up England.’ WAKE UP ENGLAND, IT IS SO Late.”
Let me first be clear. That is not my country. We rid ourselves of the Imperial Yoke as we were on to their now rather evident penchant for lunacy more than two centuries ago. That is why we immediately insisted on the Right to Keep lots of sophisticated high powered weaponry in our homes and shoot them on sight if they attempted to come back.
There is a useful little program that allows one to track the mental health status of one’s blog readership by back tracking the cyber origins showing from whence my good readers came. A good chunk of them came from you people on my Facebook friends list. And the story appears to have overtaken in reader views anything I have written on , say, for instance the Khmer Rouge, of which I appear to have, in retrospect, wasted two decades of my rapidly diminishing youth writing about.
The Dead Nurse Murdered By Brit Royal’s story cited such real Twitter comments as “I believe the royal family and the British secret agents killed the nurse. It is not the first time. Remember what happened to Diana”–Twitter Crack Reporter” and “I just saw a lord, stupid Brit elites, she was suicided by the inbreeds for knowing too much, either reptile hybrid, or In vitro fertilization from a human donor, the good thing is, no harm was done the royals.”—-Twitter Ace Defender of the People’s Right to Know.”
But the most alarming proof suggesting you people need to be immediately rounded up and indefinitely incarcerated in reeducation camp were the details of the search terms which listed every search term used that brought those interested in reading my scribbled offerings.
The search terms used that led you people to my blog from Google, Bing, and Yahoo include:royal family murdered nurse; did royal family have nurse killed; did royal family have nurse killed; royal family kill nurse; royal nurse murdered; Hun Sen family; what happened to the nurse from the royal family; the royal family killed the nurse; nurse did queen order murder; north Korean people; royal family murdered the nurse; murdered royal nurse; nurse uk killed by royal family; royal family murders nurse; British nurse royal family murder; Hun Sen family; what happened to the nurse from the royal family; the royal family killed the nurse; nurse did queen order murder; north Korean people; royal family killed nurse; uk Nate morning sickness; royal family murdered Diana; royalfamily murdered nurse; Kate nurse murder; nurse murder Kate conspiracy; British royal family news; nurse was murdered by royals; did royal family kill nurse; murdered nurse Kate Middleton; Kate Middleton nurse murdered; royal nurse murder; did the royal family murder the nurse; percentage of Americans who believe royal family killed the nurse; Vietnamese jail uniforms for sale; royal family killers; royal family killed the nurse; did the royal family murder nurse; pol pot wife children; was uk nurse killed; nurse murdered by royals; royal family murder nurse; dj killed by royal family
There were exactly three “other search terms” which were not identified, presumably too alarming to not be immediately forwarded by the intelligence units who monitor Clear and Present Threats for the search engines dot.com community to MI-5 and 6.