Sarah Noble Accuses Thayer of ‘Making me Cry’. Crisis Spirals Towards Disaster

“Nate Thayer” Sparks Near Tragic Incident Over Mistaken identity

Known Protagonist Katie Lovell Fits Profile of Security Threat

Thayer Targeted by Dangerous, Volatile Social Media Campaign in Case of Mistaken Identity: Narrowly Misses Clear and Present Danger of Irate Gang

I was alarmed to see I had received a tweet this evening from one Kalie Lovell ‏@its_klove who tweeted “Remembering that nate thayer called me a bitch today #almostcried #youarethebitch #rude”

To which one Sarah Noble chimed in another Tweet: “@narahsoble @its_klove he made me cry once haha “

Miss Lovell’s tweet was “liked” and retweeted by 9 other separate, nubile looking, young attractive in that surly- gum snapping-rolling-one’s- eyes-sorta-way, lasses.

My mind raced at the entirely credible plausibility of some hazy misconduct of mine being responsible for the organized public campaign by this small army of enraged and unpredictable antagonists, of which the plausibility was only exceeded by the corollary I had completely forgotten the incident.

This would have been consistent with the fact that such prior transgressions were committed during self induced conditions of impaired memory which previously and some would argue frequently contributed to my having failed to recall my actions for a period of a number of hours. This process of reconstructing events usually began the next morning, and accelerated exceedingly slowly as the next day progressed.

After a cursory bit of sleuthing, I discovered the aggrieved young Miss Lovell is a 15 year old high school student at R.W. Traip Academy, Class of 2014 in Kittery, Maine. Which would make her both about 15 years old and a female, a volatile and unpredictable of crossed circumstances virtually guaranteed combustible at considerably less of a spark than being called a “bitch”.

Among her very long list of other teenage Facebook friends one surly looking “Nate Thayer” of  approximately the same age as his frightingly profiled antagonist and her posse, are from the same town, and apparently students at a nearby other high school.

I am confident that is sufficient evidence that my already unmanageable list of persons to whom I must supplicate myself making amends for past boorish behavior remains crested at its current already altogether distracting and daunting number.

I am very pleased that bullet missed me.